collaborative Divorce

In addition to studying counseling psychology, I have specialized training in Collaborative Divorce Coaching.  Divorce represents one of the most difficult emotional rollercoaster rides one could ever experience.  I strongly believe in helping people find the courage and skills to negotiate the divorce process in ways that not only make the current chaos manageable, but also create positive and lasting change for the future of a divorcing family.  I endeavor to combine respect for the unique experience of each family with expertise in the common struggles facing people trying to blend an emotional life transition with what’s best for themselves and their children.

What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a new approach to marital dissolution.  It is a process to resolve family disputes without going to court, founded on the concept that divorce can be accomplished in a non-combative manner with respect and dignity.

The traditional legal process of divorce is by nature adversarial, with each partner and their attorney working against each other.  When couples get embroiled in an adversarial divorce the outcome is often emotional and financial devastation that can last a lifetime.  Friends and family members can be supportive, but often unintentionally spur great tension due to their strong alliance with you.  In a traditional divorce process children are often the big losers!  Hostility between Mom and Dad leaves the children feeling confused, vulnerable and stuck in the middle.

Collaborative Divorce views marital dissolution as a problem to be solved rather than a battle to be won or lost.  The Collaborative Divorce Team is comprised of a family law attorney and a communication coach for each spouse, a neutral financial specialist, and a child specialist if children are involved.  This Team approach helps reduce the tension during what can be a stressful time for everyone involved.

The Collaborative Divorce process is a solution for divorcing couples wanting to learn to:

  • Avoid legal battle and court-ordered decisions
  • Find a win-win situation for all the parties involved, especially children
  • Learn ways to co-parent effectively
  • Communicate your needs clearly and effectively in a way that you feel really heard
  • Listen accurately and empathetically without getting lost in emotion
  • Understand your children's pain and grief and prepare them for the loss of the family
  • Keep their children's world as stable as possible in spite of their changing circumstances

My role as a Divorce  Coach, is to help the couple make constructive rather than destructive use of the emotions that are present during the divorce.  This allows the couple to establish open and honest communication that sets the foundation for effective negotiations and co-parenting.  I help you compartmentalize your emotions so you can engage in the divorce process in a manner that will be most successful for you.  I help you learn to communicate clearly in a business-like manner and stay focused on your goals.  If you have children, I assist you in separating your negative feelings toward your partner from his/her essential role as a parent to your children.